


RadCon: The Untold Story

by MitchellMusso69



Category: The Procrastinators Podcast
Genre: Gay, M/M, Masturbation
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-19
Updated: 2020-02-19
Packaged: 2021-02-28 03:55:35
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,120
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22807450
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MitchellMusso69/pseuds/MitchellMusso69
Summary: Nate arrives at Digibro's house on the first day of RadCon. Things get physical.
Relationships: Digibro/BestGuyEver
Kudos: 12





	RadCon: The Untold Story

Digi “DigibronyMLP” Bro wasn’t sure which one of his friends would arrive first, but he had hoped it would be his fellow khantent creator, Nate Saint-Bestman. Being the only two anime-reviewing members of the Pro Crastinators Podcast, they shared a certain bond that the other members couldn’t possibly understand. Their mutual fascination with those funky shows from the Far East was a bond more intimate than any other relationship they had. 

When the knock came at the door, Digi was sitting in front of his “work” computer, desperately trying to thrust his uncircumcised, seven-inch penis in between the thighs of his Shinobu Oshino anime figurine. He’d almost managed it when a second knock rang out, breaking his deep concentration. 

“What the- Who the fuck is here?” Digi asked Shinobu. Being the most autistic member of the Pro Crastinators Podcast, and always under the influence of some dangerous chemical, he had forgotten that RadCon was starting today. He rose from the cum-stained office chair and hobbled towards the front door. Peeping through the peephole and readying his 3D printed gun (a Dick Show Patreon reward), Digi made sure that it wasn’t the taxman finally coming after him. 

Instead of a government agent, he saw what seemed to be a large, brown rock on his porch. But this was no ordinary rock, Digi could tell. Instead of laying flat on the ground (as most rocks do), this one was floating a few feet above the air and had two protrusions that could easily pass for human arms. But the oddest part of all were the two, human-like eyes staring right back at him.

Digibro creaked the door open and said in a low voice, “Hello?”

“Geo, Geodude!” The rock creature said. Digi smacked his forehead, how could he be such a fool! Memories of his previous visit to Boston flooded his mind as he finally recognized the beast before him.

“Michelle!” He said, “I forgot you guys were coming today. Where’s Nate?”

Michelle motioned back to Digi’s driveway where Nate was carrying a pair of suitcases from their rental car. His trademark BestGuyEver smile crept across his face as he noticed Digi standing in the doorway. 

“What’s up, nigga?” Nate greeted as he approached. They all laughed, because saying the n-word is funny.

"Just getting some work done on #KusoMega,” Digi answered. It wasn’t a lie, he had spent the morning trying to figure out how to fit more of his fetishes into the story. _Maybe I can make Shinobu, like, some fairy thing like Yui from Sword Art Online. Then I could fuck an even smaller version of her. I mean, Takuma could fuck an even smaller version of her. Yeah, that’s what I meant._

“Geodude?” Michelle asked.

“Yeah, dog, what’s the holdup?”

Digi awoke from his fantasy. “Oh, my b,” He apologized. Thinking about Shinobu had made all the blood rush from his brain straight to his uncircumcised, seven-inch penis. But now freed from his lust, he shuffled out of the way and led Nate and Michelle into the living room.

“You didn’t bring Sessho, did you?” Digi asked. 

“Nah, he wouldn’t fit in the car,” Nate explained. Michelle sadly nodded along, clearly distraught about how fucking fat her dog was.

Digi breathed a sigh of relief. He had a longstanding hatred of all animals. If they weren’t smart enough to realize why K-ON! is a masterpiece, they weren’t worth his time.

“You guys can just put your stuff in the bathroom, I- Wait, shit!” Digibro caught himself. “I guess Michelle can’t go in the bathroom with all the water around… Just put them in the kitchen instead.”

Nate thought it was a little sexist that Digi was making the only woman sleep in the kitchen. He also found it very funny. Instinctively, he began rapidly tapping the air next to him, forgetting that his soundboard was left at home. A single tear fell from his cheek as he longed for his fart with a reverb clip.

“Geodude, dude” Michelle asked.

“Oh, May? Yeah, she’s actually at the hospital right now,” Digi explained.

“Is she okay?” Nate asked.

“Kind of,” Digi asked. “We actually had too much sex and her pussy broke.”

“Perhaps it's for the best. We both know how Munchy feels about sex." Nate shuddered, thinking about how their large friend would react to any form of deviancy.

Digi shrugged and took a swig of his box wine and a hit from his blunt at the same time. 

“Geo geo.” Michelle said.

“That’s not a bad idea, she could use the company and I’m too twisted to drive. ” Digi answered. He turned to Nate and held out his hand. Nate took out a pokeball from his pocket and with a jagged beam of red light, Michelle disappeared. Nate then handed the ball over to Digi, so that he could deposit Michelle into Bill’s PC. 

“May brought my laptop, so she should be able to get her out,” Digi explained to Nate as the deposit confirmation appeared on his phone screen.

With that out of the way, and all pleasantries exhausted, the boys were left with no obvious direction to steer the conversation. They stood in silence, eyeing each other up. Nate’s hairline had receded since they had last met in person. Digi wondered if Nate was removing his hair on purpose so that he could get hair plugs like his hero, Elon Musk. On the other hand, Digi’s overwhelming fatness was rapidly escaping from his clothing. His oily hair clung to his equally oily skin like he was rubbed down by a Japanese prostitute. 

But even with his physical abnormalities, there was something about Digi that Nate just found irresistible. It wasn’t his uncircumcised, seven-inch penis; it was his uncircumcised, seven-inch brain. Nate had always admired how Digi managed to make money despite his peculiar brand of content. It was nothing more than a professional appreciation, Nate had insisted. Nothing more. 

“I’m gay,” Digi finally spoke. Nate recoiled in shock before remember that “I’m gay” was one of Digi’s personal memes. 

“I try not to hold it against you,” Nate replied, attempting to start some friendly banter. But it was no use. Digi had become painfully aware that he was not currently ingesting drugs and sought to remedy this as soon as possible.

Without another word, Digi marched back to his work desk and started up his water-cooled desktop tower, which also functioned as a bong. He took a long hit and invited Nate to come sit in the chair next to him (which was usually reserved for May). 

“You want some of this?” Digi asked politely, “Or maybe some drink?” 

Nate, who was kind of a pussy, was hesitant to partake in Digibro’s debauchery. But the long and uncomfortable flight had left his body and mind withered. It felt like he had just gotten hit by The Wither in Minecraft and was now receiving damage from being withered like in the video game, Minecraft. So he followed Digi’s example and did the wine and weed. 

They took effect immediately. Nate was no stranger to either of these substances, but he should have known that Digi’s personal tolerance would be multiple times higher than his own. Nate was overcome with the urge to jack off to loli porn and then pass out right there. It was only his burning desire to get something productive done today that kept him sentient. 

“Pretty strong, right? I bought it off the dark web,” Digi explained, “And by that I mean, I bought it from a black guy.”

 _That does explain everything,_ Nate thought. Never having actually met a black person, Nate assumed that they (the blacks) were naturally resistant to all matters of drugs.

Digi switched windows on his computer and resumed a half-finished YouTube video entitled "Why 'All Purpose Cultural Cat Girl Nuku Nuku' is a Masterpiece." He took another hit from his bong and reclined into the soft leather of his chair. Nate was having trouble focusing on the screen, however, as it was consistently blocked by Digi exhaling fat clouds of smoke. And after a few more rips for himself, Nate's throat had become dry.

"I'm gonna go grab a drink," Nate announced, rising from his seat. "Do you have any off-brand Lacroix?" 

Digibro never got the opportunity to answer, because once Nate stopped using his chair as a support, he fell face forward right into his friend. Both men spilled to the floor, the box wine seeping into the already wine-soaked carpet. In their intoxicated states, neither of them were able to grasp what had exactly occurred. If they were sober, both of them would've noticed Nate's hand grasping Digibro's uncircumcised, seven-inch penis through his Dr.Pepper pajama pants immediately. As things were, it took Nate a good thirty seconds. And even after that, his brain failed to process the next course of action. Digi, who tried to have his uncircumcised, seven-inch penis touched at all times, made no attempts to push Nate off. It was like that one scene in Evangelion except dumber and gay.

"You're a big guy," Nate noted. 

"For you," Digi answered.

Digibro's eyes were protected behind his circular glasses but Nate could feel Digi's gaze bearing down upon him, begging him to take the lead. In reality, Digi had momentarily passed out from smoking too much again, but he was pleased to discover that, upon awakening, he was now getting jacked off.

Nate had always considered himself a heterosexual man. He had never before experienced any same-sex attraction nor had he been particularly interested in experimenting before. Any other rational human being would take these facts to mean that they were, without a doubt, straight. But Nate, in his infinite wisdom, had this thought: _Well, I can't actually be one-hundred percent sure if I never try! What if I actually end up liking it and then I'm just gay now? Would that really be so disastrous?_ He thought of his brother, Ben, who was gay (politically) and laughed. If only he could see him now. Jacking off another man.

"No, you're not doing it right!" Digi screamed, pushing Nate's hand off of his uncircumcised, seven-inch penis. "Faster, faster… I have to go faster," Digibro muttered to himself, now dual-fisting his uncircumcised, seven-inch penis.

Nate felt his own penis (circumcised, slightly-below- average length but still perfectly respectable) twitch in his shorts. Digibro's passionate display of self-love was more than enough to get Nate's motor running. Not because of the inherent sexual nature of masturbation, but because of how hard Digi was working. The pure effort and determination that Digi was putting into this activity sent Nate to the moon. 

He quickly whipped out his own dong and started going to town. Nate's strokes were nowhere near as fast as Digi's, but they expressed a certain je ne sais quoi that only Nate's energetic persona could bring. The two pumped away at their dicks, establishing a steady rhythm of fleshy slaps and grunts. As the two reached their climaxes, the house around them began to rumble and the roof began to crumble above them. But the boys just kept on jacking. Seemingly nothing could stop them until -

" **ENOUGH**."

A menacing voice reverberated in their root chakras. All dick-didling stopped. The smoke from the room began to condense in the shape of a human man. But as the form thickened and finer details began to appear, they realized that this was no man. 

Dense, ethnic hair. Clothing with images of food. A large garbage bag, filled with slime, arms, and fathers. His name began appearing in front of his body like he was a boss in Sonic Adventure 2.

M U N C H Y J. T R U M P

_THE ULTIMATE LIFE FORM_

Nate immediately began apologizing, "Oh God, Munchy, we didn't mean it we were just -"

Munchy held out his hand, silencing Nate. "The punishment for masturbation is The Stick."

"What's 'The Stick'?" Digi asked.

"What the fuck, why dont you read my blog?" Munchy asked, a bit hurt. 

"I don't know, I've just got other shit to do," Digi answered, sucking some wine from the carpet. 

"I hate you guys," Munchy said. 

Nate, sensing the fun to be over, once again rose to his feet. "Fellas, was that gay?" He tried to hide his discomfort with a chuckle. 

"Well, I'm straight so it can't be gay," Digi answered with his trademark logic. 

Munchy, being good friends with Ben, knew gay when he saw it but refused to answer out of politeness. But he made a mental note to contact his underlings at ISIS once the rest of the Pro Crastinators arrived.

  
  



End file.
